Blackout: Remembering the things I drank to forget
Sarah Hepola
Jun 2015 · Hachette UK
4.5star
67 reviewsreport
Ebook
240
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About this ebook
'SIMPLY EXTRAORDINARY' New York Times
'It's such a savage thing to lose your memory, but the crazy thing is, it doesn't hurt one bit. A blackout doesn't sting, or stab, or leave a scar when it robs you. Close your eyes and open them again. That's what a blackout feels like.'
For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was 'the gasoline of all adventure'. She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as an enlightened twenty-first-century woman.
But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy?
Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.
A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new adventure-the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent themselves or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most-but getting yourself back in return.
A raw, vivid and ultimately uplifting memoir of addiction and recovery for anyone who is looking to find their way.
'It's such a savage thing to lose your memory, but the crazy thing is, it doesn't hurt one bit. A blackout doesn't sting, or stab, or leave a scar when it robs you. Close your eyes and open them again. That's what a blackout feels like.'
For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was 'the gasoline of all adventure'. She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as an enlightened twenty-first-century woman.
But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy?
Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.
A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new adventure-the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent themselves or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most-but getting yourself back in return.
A raw, vivid and ultimately uplifting memoir of addiction and recovery for anyone who is looking to find their way.
Ratings and reviews
4.5
67 reviews
Jen
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April 14, 2025
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Kelly Round
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May 26, 2019
Bloody fantastic! Funny, honest, heartfelt and inspiring.
1 person found this review helpful
Puran singh Shaktawat
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October 6, 2022
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About the author
Sarah Hepola has written many stories about drinking and eating too much. Her essays on culture have appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Elle, The New Republic, Glamour, the Guardian, Slate, the Morning News, and Salon, where she was a longtime editor.
Her past jobs include: Travel columnist, music editor, film critic, sex blogger, and for about 15 seconds in the late '90s, she taught high school English.
She lives in East Dallas, where she enjoys playing her guitar poorly and listening to the Xanadu soundtrack. Blackout is her first book.
sarahhepola.com
twitter.com/sarahhepola
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