MADAME UNCONSCIOUS: essays about duality
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She actually has a name ... but it would be useless to mention it.
She was and still is ... sort of a karmic teacher which is still guiding me to understand the feminine world.
Its deepest secrets.
She didn't allowed me to dig into her darkness ... but i've done it anyway ... without her permission.
And guess what?!
I've annoyed her.
A lot.
So ... she replied.
Trying to ... destroy me, but not understanding why.
Most probably ... it was cause i've saw her well hided secrets.
Feeling embarrassed.
Annoyed.
Frustrated.
But i've started to get scared of seeing that she was wearing so, so many masks.
... not knowing anymore who i am speaking with.
Cause ...
Fortunately or unfortunately all continued and still continues.
Illusory believing that I understand her ... but use all those
informations so that i'll just manipulate her as i want.
And ...
Well ... she still replies ... destroying me.
On and on ... and on.
Cause ... i've dared to opened that pandora's box ... her unconscious.
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I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.
