How Not to Murder Your Husband
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(1) Leaves the bread unwrapped after making toast so it goes stale.
(2) Writes illegible names and addresses on things like Christmas cards then tells her off when she try to amend them.
(3) Breathes really loudly when he's asleep - 'I wasn't SNORING' - so that it's like being woken every night at 2am by Darth Vader. And not in a sexy, black cloak, galaxy ruling sort of way.
(4) Says, 'I'm putting you in charge of that' as if he's doing her a favour when he wants to get out of doing something.
(5) Says, 'Well, let's not make a problem out of it, shall we?' before ignoring the thing she's just told him about that's really bugging her and that she wants him to fix.
(6) Doesn't fix things the minute she asks him to.
(7) Manages to get the children to bed with far less yelling than she does.
(8) Always sees the other side in an argument, i.e., the side that isn't hers.
(10) Adores her mother.
Viciously funny, touchingly honest and only too true, this is Stephanie Calman at her brilliant best.
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Stephanie Calman is the founder of the seminal and hugely successful www.badmothersclub.com, the author of the bestselling Confessions of a Bad Mother and Confessions of a Failed Grown-Up and is married with two children.
She created the hit Channel 4 sitcom Dressing For Breakfast and has appeared on many TV shows including Have I Got News For You and The Wright Stuff. She has also written for most British newspapers and magazines including The Daily Telegraph, The Observer, The Guardian, Cosmopolitan, GQ and Harpers & Queen, and has been a contributor to a wide variety of radio shows, including Start the Week, Woman's Hour, Quote Unquote and The Fred MacAulay Show. She is the author of two novels, Dressing For Breakfast and Gentlemen Prefer My Sister.
