Holy Cow: A Novel
Feb 2015 · Macmillan + ORM
4.5star
31 reviewsreport
Ebook
226
Pages
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About this ebook
The X-Files star and bestselling author’s “zany, madcap first novel . . . is a seriously entertaining fable that doesn’t take itself too seriously” (John Wilwol, The Washington Post).
Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer’s family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an “industrial meat farm” shakes Elsie’s understanding of her world to its core.
There’s only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry—excuse me, Shalom—a cranky, Torah-reading pig who’s recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can’t fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.
Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom—who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)—dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny’s charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.
“Who knew a cow’s view of the world was so funny yet so honest and true? Holy Cow is silly and fun from the opening page.” —Jeff Ayers, The Denver Post
Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer’s family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an “industrial meat farm” shakes Elsie’s understanding of her world to its core.
There’s only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry—excuse me, Shalom—a cranky, Torah-reading pig who’s recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can’t fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.
Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom—who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)—dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny’s charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.
“Who knew a cow’s view of the world was so funny yet so honest and true? Holy Cow is silly and fun from the opening page.” —Jeff Ayers, The Denver Post
Ratings and reviews
4.5
31 reviews
Victoria Miller
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May 28, 2016
I think he did excellent work on his episodes in X-Files - his episodes were excellent and up to par with the other writers! As an author, though...It pains me to say I'm not quite impressed, and I was really hoping to be! (Still a huge fan, of course!)
2 people found this review helpful
Cesar Oliveira
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February 23, 2016
Just when you think you have seen all of Mr. Duchovny, he shocks you with his grasping whit and imagination all while wonderfuly weaving every sentence perfectly together.
A Google user
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May 22, 2015
Very touching and incredibly humane; albeit a tale of animals, religion, philosophy, travel and straight - up gangster dialogue! David Duchovny's sense of humor and intelligence is present in every moment of this adventure and that's what makes it such a fun, thoughtful and clever read.
1 person found this review helpful
About the author
David Duchovny is a television, stage, and screen actor, as well as a screenwriter and director.
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