Always the Almost
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A trans pianist makes a New Year's resolution on a frozen Wisconsin night to win regionals and win back his ex, but a new boy complicates things in Edward Underhill's heartfelt debut YA rom-dram, Always the Almost.
Sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson has two New Yearâs resolutions: 1) win back his ex-boyfriend (and star of the football team) Shane McIntyre, and 2) finally beat his slimy arch-nemesis at the Midwestâs biggest classical piano competition. But thatâs not going to be so easy. For one thing, Shane broke up with Miles two weeks after Miles came out as trans, and now Shaneâs stubbornly ignoring him, even when they literally bump into each other. Plus, Milesâ new, slightly terrifying piano teacher keeps telling him that heâs playing like he âdoesnât know who he isââwhatever that means.
Then Miles meets the new boy in town, Eric Mendez, a proudly queer cartoonist from Seattle who asks his pronouns, cares about art as much as he doesâand makes his stomach flutter. Not what he needs to be focusing on right now. But after Eric and Miles pretend to date so they can score an invite to a couples-only Valentineâs party, the ruse turns real with a kiss, which is also definitely not in the plan. If only Miles could figure out why Eric likes him so much. After all, it's not like heâs cool or confident or comfortable in his own skin. Heâs not even good enough at piano to get his fellow competitors to respect him, especially now, as Miles. Nothingâs ever been as easy for him as for other peopleâother boys. Heâs only ever been almost enough.
So why, when heâs with Eric, does it feel like the only person heâs ever really not been enough for...is himself?
Sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson has two New Yearâs resolutions: 1) win back his ex-boyfriend (and star of the football team) Shane McIntyre, and 2) finally beat his slimy arch-nemesis at the Midwestâs biggest classical piano competition. But thatâs not going to be so easy. For one thing, Shane broke up with Miles two weeks after Miles came out as trans, and now Shaneâs stubbornly ignoring him, even when they literally bump into each other. Plus, Milesâ new, slightly terrifying piano teacher keeps telling him that heâs playing like he âdoesnât know who he isââwhatever that means.
Then Miles meets the new boy in town, Eric Mendez, a proudly queer cartoonist from Seattle who asks his pronouns, cares about art as much as he doesâand makes his stomach flutter. Not what he needs to be focusing on right now. But after Eric and Miles pretend to date so they can score an invite to a couples-only Valentineâs party, the ruse turns real with a kiss, which is also definitely not in the plan. If only Miles could figure out why Eric likes him so much. After all, it's not like heâs cool or confident or comfortable in his own skin. Heâs not even good enough at piano to get his fellow competitors to respect him, especially now, as Miles. Nothingâs ever been as easy for him as for other peopleâother boys. Heâs only ever been almost enough.
So why, when heâs with Eric, does it feel like the only person heâs ever really not been enough for...is himself?
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EDWARD UNDERHILL (he/him) is a queer trans man who grew up in the suburbs of Wisconsin, where he could not walk to anything, which meant he had to make up his own adventures. He began writing (very bad) stories as a kid and wrote his first (also very bad) novel in his teens. In college, he studied music composition, before earning a masterâs degree in film music composition. After a few years living in very tiny apartments in New York, he moved to California, where by day he writes music and by night he writes stories, which arenât as bad as they used to be. When not doing either of these things, heâs probably gardening or hanging out with his cat. Always the Almost is his debut novel.
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