Leibniz’s Monads: Because Particles with Feelings Totally Make Sense

Being Really Confused: A Guide to Heidegger and Other Crimes Against Clarity

Foucault's Power: Knowledge Is Power, Obscurity Is Apparently Also Power

God or Nature, Whatever: Spinoza's Guide to Getting Excommunicated from Every Religion Simultaneously

Derrida's Deconstruction: Tearing Texts Apart Because He Had Nothing Better To Do

Hegel's Dialectic: Making Simple Ideas Complicated Since 1807

Sartre's No Exit: Other People Are Hell

Plato's Cave: Philosophy's First Reality Show

Thus Spoke My Therapist: Nietzsche Without the Mental Breakdown

What the Hell: How Wittgenstein Made Philosophy Even More Confusing While Claiming to Solve Everything

Why Did That Happen?: Aristotle Has Four Answers and None of Them Are Helpful

Noble Savage, Deadbeat Dad: How Rousseau Invented Modern Society While Failing at Basic Human Decency

No Self, No God, No Clue: David Hume and the Joy of Destroying Everything

Lacan Sucks and So Do You: A Friendly Guide to Language, Desire, and Political Helplessness

I Think, Therefore I’m Wrong: Descartes and the Birth of Overconfidence

God Is in the Details (and So Is Thomas Aquinas): How to Weaponize Aristotle for the Church and Still Be Canonized

I Think I Own That: John Locke’s Guide to Justifying Land Theft with Polite Language

Nothing Means Anything (And That's, Like, Profound): A Guide to Postmodernism

Kant You Not: A Categorical Imperative to Stay Awake