In this intimate and harrowing memoir, a former Chinese gang member tells the story of how he went from “bad to blue” by leaving the gang behind and becoming a New York City police detective.

Nestled in the warm embrace of his immigrant grandmother, Mike Moy was raised hearing bloodcurdling tales of the brutal life she escaped in China. But growing up on the mean streets of Manhattan’s Chinatown, Mike has also faced shocking violence coupled with destructive racism. In a tight-knit community besieged with fear and alienation, teenage Mike takes refuge in one of Chinatown’s notorious gangs, tattooing his membership in Fuk Ching on his body.

The gangs’ fearsome reputations are warranted. Frequenting gambling dens and pool halls, Mike and a boisterous band of gangmates run amok: selling and shooting guns, stealing, and running protection schemes. But the fast pace and constant danger take a terrible toll, with friends being killed or sent to prison—the inevitable end for most gang members. But vexing questions are raised for young Mike after he learns the extraordinary story of a cop who forgave the young shooter who made him a paraplegic. NYPD Officer Steven McDonald’s morality and compassion arouse a longing deep within Mike to be one of the “good guys.”

In a world-changing turnaround expected by no one, Mike joins the NYPD. By donning that blue uniform, he gets the adrenaline-driven lifestyle he craves while staying on the right side of the law. But coming clean is not so easy. Patrolling the streets he once terrorized, he fears the exposure of his secret past. Anyone identifying him as a former gang member could lead to investigations, expulsion from the NYPD, media scandal, and legal charges for past crimes. And what would his former gangmates think if they found out he’d joined “the enemy”?

Packed with violence, heartbreak, and love, Mike tells the triumphant story of one man’s transformation—even as bullets fly just above his head.